Making the decision to end a failing marriage is difficult—especially after you’ve worked hard to try to save what feels like a loveless marriage. You may have chosen to ignore the early indications that ending your marriage is the best course of action, and you may have been putting up with an unpleasant union for some time. Or maybe you’re hoping there’s still some fight in the union and you’re not quite ready to go. It’s not a choice to be made hastily. Whether it’s because of too many disputes, dishonest behaviour, or something else entirely, we list out the warning signs that your marriage is headed for splits Ville.
1. You only seek to win
The way you quarrel when you disagree is another clue of impending divorce, in addition to never fighting (i.e., total detachment). A quarrel should ideally be settled in a way that keeps the connection intact. When conflict becomes more about assigning blame, blaming, and the urge to “win,” the emphasis shifts from connection to power. This is a warning sign.
2. You want to irritate your partner
You know you’re playing divorce roulette when you find yourself constantly seeing how far you can push your marriage before it falls apart. It’s possible that you desire to break up with your spouse subconsciously but are hesitant to act. This is probably why you start attempting to drive your spouse past their breaking point.
3. You mask who you really are
A fulfilling relationship is impossible if you fear being rejected if your spouse sees “all” of who you are. It demonstrates a lack of respect in your view when you consistently have to filter yourself or keep your beliefs hidden from your spouse. It’s also difficult to correct.
4. Kids come first, then work, then friends, etc
All of these external factors can be advantageous to a marriage. And of course, there will be times when other factors—such as a sick mother or the need to concentrate on your child—may demand your complete attention.
But when one activity dominates, leaving little room for a partner to give the relationship time and attention, it can have a lasting negative impact that erodes away at your bond.