Whether or not you are living with your in-laws having healthy boundaries that you both respect is a great start. However, this is not always the case. As in some situations, it is the son-in-law or daughter-in-law who feels oppressed due to undue influence by the in-laws in their routine life and decisions. In case you’re wondering what is appropriate and what is not acceptable, then read on. We spell out a few signs that say your in laws are interfering in your marriage.
- They infringe upon your personal freedoms
Many times, staying in the same home requires a fair deal of compromise from both parties. They may have to get used to having a new family member who has a unique set of preferences, while you get accustomed, to life in their household. But if they try to control what you wear, refuse to allow you access to the kind of food you like or refuse to let you work at your job or look for other jobs; then you know you have a problem.
- They are verbally abusive and bring you down
Some families are entrenched in patriarchy and in such cases, you may face taunts, gaslighting and verbal abuse in your marital home. It is important that you enlist the aid of your spouse to set hard boundaries with your in-laws. This will ensure that you can live with dignity and foster a reciprocally respectful relationship.
- They seek control over your finances
While it is natural for parents and in-laws to worry whether or not you are making the right financial decisions for your future; there must be boundaries. If you find that your mother-in-law or father-in-law seeks to find out exactly how much you earn and asks you to hand over your salary to him or her the money you get paid, then this is a red flag.
If they seek minute control over your expenses, financial freedom and investments, you know that such control is unjust. Everything from them taking out loans in your name to mortgaging your jewellery can point toward financial abuse in a relationship.